1. |
grinding yr teeth
02:00
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|
do you in those pretend deep convos ever let someone inside?
or is there a fail-safe in the stories you tell? are they actually just lies?
and when you've fallen asleep
i hear you grinding your teeth
and in some moments you weep
but mostly you grind your teeth
i have no more answers
i keep on staying awake all night cause i'm so afraid
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2. |
at a party
01:25
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|
with open arms
fading smile
at the back of the party
i am not afraid of being alone anymore
but i am afraid of people
on holiday
honestly,
is this getting away?
(if you had the chance, what would you change into?
cause i'm not who i want to be
i have forgotten who i want to be)
i am not afraid of being alone anymore
but i am afraid of people
i am not afraid of being myself anymore
but i'm afraid of myself
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3. |
||||
|
flashback to nervous teenager smiles
i was unhappy, but felt alive
i had a girlfriend for a while
until my aunt died
what's this fascination with memories from the past?
awkward situations are the only ones that last. they're always gonna last
i guess that's how we learn from our mistakes
teased with the notion of pressure, spurred by shame
that makes us jaded
that's how we grow up
what's this fascination with memories from the past?
awkward situations are the only ones that last. they're always gonna last
i saved some pictures of me at fourteen
most of them are gone though
i looked so much better
should have fucked around more
now that we're jaded
i guess that we made it
idle minds
idle minds
idle minds
i don't mind
|
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4. |
a brilliant plan
01:41
|
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|
i think she's started to notice
and she's getting sick of me and my shit
i didn't want it to end like this
but i don't know what to do
will we pick up the pieces
where we left of or will we just pretend we're fine?
and i'll stop living in the past
but it would actually suck if these memories were to go to waste
recently i've been afraid that you'll dump me
so i've been dodging your texts and leaving my phone off
i got this brilliant plan
see, what i don't know can't hurt me
or at least i pray to god that that's the case
think she's started to notice
and she's getting sick of me and my shit
i didn't want it to end like this
but i don't know what to do
i'm telling you
as long as i don't answer the phone
she can't actually leave me alone
as long as i don't answer the phone
she can't actually dump me you know?
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5. |
jumping in elevators
03:34
|
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|
sunday afternoon
(depressed and anxious turns into)
mondays after school
when your autopilot turned off
we'd get high on caffeine
run around laughing
nervously
we were jumping in elevators
to feel weightless
nowadays we just tend to get wasted
even then i knew
what would come of you
and if either one of us grow up to be what we want
it will probably be you
we were jumping in elevators
to feel weightless
nowadays we just tend to get wasted
and on the hill
those cloudless nights outside of town
i'd critique the sun and you'd just watch it go down
and stay there until
you sucked the starlight into your eyes
all satisfied you just asked it to rise
when i was young i'd put my thumbs to my eyes
summon stars that hide inside my brain
i figured this is how it looks when you're high
well i was not far off but forgot a simple truth
that the things that give you pleasure will most likely turn on you
but could i stop if i wanted to?
i don't think i'd stop even if i could
i don't think i'd stop even if i could
i don't think i'd stop even if i could
i don't think i'd stop even if i could
i don't think i'd stop even if i could
i don't think i'd stop even if i could
i don't think i'd stop even if i could
|
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6. |
waking up
01:52
|
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|
unobscured
i feel like you're making sense now
for once i have figured you out i can start helping
tell me what to do
worn, so worn
i'm gonna fix you up again
fix those limbs right up again
so you can learn to walk again
it's something i have to do
worn, so worn
so if your numb skin lame brain can feel or listen to this
i'm gonna fix you up again
|
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7. |
car rides
02:11
|
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|
my friends and i get in the car
we'll be leaving soon
not for long and not that far
still i'm nervous
about what i'm supposed to do
spending hours feeling lonely in the car
if i open i my mouth
i'll be hated
if i'm just quiet
i'll go unnoticed and i'll die
i'll go unnoticed and i'll die
i felt the hours passing by
each awkward moment
played against the backdrop
of a horrible jazz album
i hate it
i'll go unnoticed and i'll die
i'll go unnoticed and i'll die
i'll go unnoticed and i'll die
|
||||
8. |
out of sight
02:56
|
|||
|
out of sight, out of mind, right?
at least not tonight
i am drowning in my own awareness
of the situation outside of my
line of sight
yeah it might leave my bed but it never leaves my mind
well my neck hurts
but my chest feels fine
i won't be feeling much in there for a while
i've bottled up
i am prepared
to face the consequences but not the feelings
someone explain the reason why
it's so easy to be numb
when it's sometimes so hard just to keep from bursting at the seams
i tried to be your friend, your lover,
fuck it, everything
and i guess like anything it started just so it could end
and it hurts like hell
and it will for a while, but eventually't will fade
or hopefully go away
but until then,
stop crying
i've got friends in your part of time
maybe we could hang out sometime
you'll be fine
you'll probably forget me in a while
maybe not this day, or the next one
but someday you'll be alright
it's funny how i always end up saying the one thing i shouldn't say
stop crying
i've got friends in your part of time
maybe we could hang out sometime
stop crying
i've got friends in your part of time
maybe we could hang out sometime
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
i put my baggage in a little box every night
fuck around until i've gotten my needs filled
but i'm alright if you ask me
so now i'm playing pretend that i am happy
when i'm with friends
so they don't desert me cause i'm a gigantic fucking bummer
is it wrong to say
that i'm better off this way?
feeling awful every morning
and then ok in the night
cause at least
i'll feel relief
even if it has to come from pain, and
things change
or stay the same
or temporarily change and then change back
and if you paid for this get your change back
that's why it's ok
that i just mope and sleep all day
i have no hope i have no skills
and i don't wanna play this game
and i am seven again
found a stash of pokémon cards and played it with friends
my buddies all started playing magic again
and i am genuinely happy i don't need to pretend
it feels wrong to say
that i'm better off this way
i am genuinely happy
you don't really do the same
stay friends
play pretend
even if it's not a good idea
things change
or stay the same
or temporarily change and then change back
and if you paid for this get your change back
things change or stay the same
no matter what i do i cannot affect a single fucking thing
|
||||
10. |
||||
|
a kiss and all is lost
thoughts of what you're not
dissolve into a stream
of hopes, of dreams in me
manifests itself in changes made
i can't help it
and you'll say
that it's just a waste of time
could you have an open mind?
your deteriorating state
has left me pining for those days
when you were energetic
not apathetic
how'd you let it get to this
and if i were to find
a purpose in life
it would be to make you feel alright
and if i had a say
you'd be ok
but there's one thing that i cannot take
having to watch you wither
having to watch you wither
having to watch you wither
is more than i can bear
and it's awful just to think
that the early days we'd drink
sickly sunday afternoons
hungover out of tune
were the best days of my life
i can't help it
progress report:
it gets worse and worse each day
i'm never gonna
light that spark that burned out
i'm no good for her now
i'll keep sending words out
through stupid songs and hope you hear them somehow
cause i wish you the best of luck
and if i were to find
a purpose in life
it would be to make you feel alright
and if i had a say
you'd be ok
but there's one thing that i cannot take
having to watch you wither
having to watch you wither
having to watch you wither
is more than i can bear
|
||||
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